Thursday, September 18, 2008

Your what?

That would be U-R-A-N-U-S.

This may be the most uncomfortable word to speak in the whole english language--even in the comfort of your own living room with only your two smallest children for company.

You see, my 5-year-old, brand new kindergarten student made his first trip to the school library on Tuesday. Yesterday he plopped himself on the couch and opened up his special book. After a few questions of how to say this and that, I went to sit by him and read the book out loud. You know, like a good mom. I was under the impression that this was a book about the solar system or something. No. It was a book dedicated entirely to our favorite 7th planet.

Lest you think I am playing the part of a twittering schoolgirl, just imagine yourself reading page after unrelenting page, out loud to your kid. Sentences like....

U-R-A-N-U-S.....ah, this word and I have a history. At one point in time we might have even been called friends, well at least not enemies. In my young and innocent years, before my eyes had been opened to the shameful results of this word being spoken out loud and in a public setting, I graciously considered our 7th planet on equal footing with our 7 other planet friends, except I've always thought Pluto (which is now deemed a dwarf planet) was the cutest, being so very small and out there all alone in that outermost icy orbit of his (or hers).

Anyway, I was young--at that age when a kid is desperate to perform any stunt that will make adults smile and think they're cute. I was with my family at The Good Earth. For whatever reason we were eating at their cafe and I ordered the Planet Burger. They brought the food to us. At that moment I was sabotaged in the worst way by this unfortunate need for positive reinforcement. I held my Planet Burger up thinking I was truly the most clever kid ever, and said loudly, "Does anyone want a bite of U-R-A-N-U-S?!?" Trust me, I wasn't trying to be crude, just terribly clever. I was mid sentence but past the point of no return when the walls came crumbling down. I had been so sure of the admiring smiles until I heard myself say that word. Why couldn't I have chosen Saturn, or Mercury, or even cute little Pluto who surely needs a little recognition? Nope. Yeah whatever, they thought it was hilarious. I was horrified.

So, who chose the pronunciation anyway, or the word for that matter? Come on. There must have been some other candidates, and what was the reason they didn't make the cut and our friend U-R-A-N-U-S did? I'm sure there was a great deal of giggling at the thought of all the future generations of discomfort and public embarrassment that were now destined to come barreling down the pike.

Here's to you, namers of the 7th planet. You got me. Now, can we at least prounce it differently? Like U-RAN-U-S? I'm trying to find a good hiding spot for my kid's book. It gets to live at our house for a whole week. Aren't we lucky?


madminivanmom said...

that was great, might even be worth the child abuse (kidding). by the way.. what about some after shots of the basement.

Alice said...

So, that made me laugh till I cried. The cuts from the book are amazing. The author was a little bizarre, I think. He probably laughs every time he thinks of a child taking his book home. Could it have been a twisted way of getting a message to his wife or girlfriend that she needed to downsize? Hmmm. Anyway, thanks for the laughs

Courtney said...

Couldn't stop laughing!! Still can't!! Thanks for the uplift. Why DID they choose that of all names?

P.S. Nice to have you back from your hiatus. Bless my new little blog gadget which tells me when people have last posted. Had pretty much given up on you!! :)

Ali said...

glad to have you back!

Paige said...

dying of laughter.

Jaime said...

jack and i read this one together and oh how we laughed...what? Jack and a joke about URANUS, so strange. He says he remembers being in high school and getting a kick out of the news report that "rings had been discovered around URANUS." glad to see you are posting again.

Lauren in GA said...

That was so funny...I belly laughed as I read it and 2 of my kids said, "What?"

I hope you don't mind that I am not going to tell them ;)