The Guest Has Arrived

This is my holiday guest. He is not wanted or welcome, yet he drops in anyway. Try as I might, I can't get him to leave. I pay attention to him here and there, but he is jealous and when I do not pay enough attention he grows out of control. He is occupying a whole chair and is now threatening to engulf any other available seats, couches, or otherwise bare spaces. Soon, no one will be able to visit. He's like the embarassing relative you try to keep from friends. I try to hide him but he's grown too large and is getting bigger by the day. He isn't cute or cuddly, but his newest additions are warm and fluffy and the kids think he's fun to hide in, like a new toy--this is not good. Luckily he's very clean and smells good, just not tidy or willing to tend to himself. He's extremely needy.

Please make him go away. If he can visit your house, let me know. He'll be right over.